I don't know when I wrote this post. Several weeks ago, I guess. But I didn't post it, probably because it felt whiny. But if I'm going to be blog, then I have to accept that it's not all rainbows and unicorns.
I
spend a lot of time blogging. Mostly in my head. I realize that my plan to blog
weekly fell flat. Probably because I didn’t tell anyone (okay two people knew,
but only one has the URL) and so I didn’t have any accountability. I didn’t
tell anyone because then I’d have to be accountable.
See
what I did there?
I
feel like going public opens me up to criticism, and I cannot take it now. And
of course, then that makes me ask the obvious question, “Why are you even doing
it?”
I
dunno. Because. Because internal conversations are where I work out issues in
my world. Because writing is what I’ve done my whole life, and it feels like my
safety zone when I do it.
If
you didn’t already figure it out, I am unemployed. In fact, I’m what is now
termed the “long-term unemployed.” I’d tell you the whole story of how I came
to this place but you probably wouldn’t believe it.
I’ve
learned some things in the last year, some good, some not. My spirit has been
battered in a way I didn’t see coming. I have discovered that I possess the key
to unbattering it. (Unbattering? Is that even a word?) I’ve learned that the
key doesn’t work every single day.
No comments:
Post a Comment