I love lists. A lot. In fact, I could probably make a list
of the reasons I love lists. List-making entertains me when I’m training for
the 3-Day Walks and there’s no one to talk to. I create weird lists or top 10s
in my head, adding, subtracting, rearranging, justifying their position over
the miles and various walks.
For reasons known only to maybe one other person, Stefon,
the Club Kid from Saturday Night Live, has been on my mind a lot. I was one of
SNL’s early adopters. Back in SNL’s infancy, my high-school boyfriend and I
made a point to be back at my house by 10:30 on Saturday nights so we could sit
on my parent’s couch and watch it. Without such fancy technology as a Betamax
to record it for later, it was the original “must-see” TV.
Lately, I’ve been creating my Top 10 SNL Recurring
Characters List. It’s tough to limit it to 10 without cheating by creating ties
just to get extra people on there. I had to be ruthless when I didn’t want to.
I felt like I was betraying a friend when someone had to be sacrificed. I decided
to eliminate “real people” because otherwise, there wouldn’t be room for anyone
else. There will never be a Bill Clinton like Phil Hartman’s or a Sarah Palin
as good as Tina Fey’s.
Here’s the top 10 as
it stands today, but I warn you, it’s subject to change.
10. Wayne Campbell
I’m leaving Garth off the list for now (no way!), but I
reserve the right to add him back in with Wayne at a later date. Mike Meyers
just nailed that character, creating a bucketload of catchphrases along the
way. If you can’t sing the Wayne’s World theme song, then you should
check your pulse. Party on, Wayne.
9. Fr. Guido Sarducci
Come on, who doesn’t love a chain-smoking priest reporting
on gossip for the Vatican Enquirer? Don Novello created a whole career for
himself with one thrift-store outfit. He even went on talk shows in character;
I remember thinking he was really a priest.
(SNL trivia: Fr. Guido Sarducci holds the record for most
recurrences on SNL—31 times)
8. Rich, the Copy Guy
So annoying. So funny. Sting! Stingatola!
Stingalingadingdong! Makin’ copies. Was there anyone in any office anywhere who wasn’t quoting Rob
Schneider’s Richmeister every time they went to the copy machine? The
catchphrase-meister.
7. The Spartan
Cheerleaders
U-G-L-Y! You ain’t got
no alibi! You ugly! Maybe because I never saw the inner workings of
cheerleading, I loved Arianna and Craig and their quest for the “perfect
cheer.” I read somewhere that Cheri Oteri and Will Ferrell actually went to
cheerleading camp to learn how to be cheerleaders. Talk about suffering for
your art.
6. Debbie Downer
I love this Rachel Dratch character so much I adopted her
name to describe my incessant risk-management techniques at work. In my
defense, I’ve never brought up the topic of feline AIDS. Plus, if you’ve ever
seen the Disney World episode with Debbie Downer, you’ll know why this is on my
top 10.
5. Chris Farley Show
Okay, I’ll admit, I wasn’t a big Chris Farley fan, but his
goofily nervous talk show host remains in my stable of quotable quotes.
(“Remember….?” “That was awesome.”) I was nervous watching Chris Farley be
nervous. There were only three episodes of the Chris Farley show -- with Jeff
Daniels, Martin Scorsese and Paul McCartney. The McCartney one is my favorite.
Chris Farley: You remember when everyone said you were dead?
Paul McCartney: Yes.
Chris Farley: That was a hoax, right?
Chris Farley: You remember when you sang, the love you take
is equal to the love you make?
Paul McCartney: Yes.
Chris Farley: Ummm, is that true?
4. Lisa Loopner
Gilda Radner could make any character loveable, and she
really perfected it with nerdy Lisa Loopner. Bill Murray was her equally nerdy
boyfriend, Todd, but it was Lisa and her comebacks to Todd (“The last time I
heard that I fell off my dinosaur.”) who stole the show. Who remembers Todd’s
BFF, Chaz the Spaz? That was Steve Martin.
3. Brian Fellow
Lord, have mercy, Tracy Morgan as “not an accredited
zoologist” cracked me up. Heck, half the time, he didn’t even get his
character’s name right. I would honestly
watch Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet on cable if it were possible. “If goats could
talk, I’ll bet they would swear!” “Where is that snake’s arms? I’ll bet he’s
hiding them behind his back.”
2. Stefon
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It takes a lot to make me
laugh out loud when I watch TV, and Bill Hader’s character cracked my snooty exterior.
I have a Stefon mashup bookmarked on YouTube, and when I need a laugh, I queue
it up. Plus, he gets Anderson Cooper at the end, so what’s not to love? As a
bonus, some spontaneous back-and-forth Stefon-worthy repartee at the 2013 3-Day
Walk was just the thing after a long day of crewing in the rain, when I really
needed something to laugh about. Stefon has “everything.”
1. The Festrunk Brothers
I was also an early adopter of Steve Martin. I’m pretty sure
there’s a photo of me in my high-school yearbook wearing an arrow through my
head. I still have my ticket stub from 1977 when I saw Steve Martin in
concert at Jones Hall in Houston. $6.75.
For my money, there’s nothing funnier than the “two wild and
crazy guys” from Czechoslovakia, played by Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd. I’ll
give a shout-out to Garrett Morris for playing straight-man Cliff (“Slap my
hand, black soul man.”), but it was the brothers in those perfect 1970s outfits
that makes this my hands-down #1 pick.
I feel like I should apologize to all the great characters I
left off: Roseanne Roseannadanna, The
Anal-Retentive Chef, Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Sweeney Sisters, the NPR
girls, Kaitlin, The Ladies Man, the Killer Bees, Theodoric of York, David
Spade’s receptionist at the Dick Clark office, the list goes on….
Good list!
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